Why Your Body Changes in Menopause (Even When You’re Doing Everything Right).
Have you been good this week?
Have you counted your calories, measured your macros, hit your protein target and eaten your five a day?
Drunk your three litres of water? Walked your 10,000 steps? Done your strength training, squeezed in some cardio and remembered to stretch?
Did you get your eight or nine hours of quality sleep, manage your stress, practise mindfulness, get outside in the morning light and remember to take your supplements?
And, of course, you’ve avoided sugar, alcohol, processed food and anything else that’s currently being blamed for your expanding waistline?
Excellent.
But did you actually enjoy any of it?
Or have you spent another week trying to tick every box on an ever-growing checklist of things you’re supposed to do to be healthy?
Because somewhere along the way, looking after ourselves seems to have become a full-time job. One where the goalposts keep moving and we’re never quite doing enough.
And here’s the really frustrating part.
You can do all of those things and still wake up at 3 am, feel exhausted by lunchtime, struggle with bloating, notice your waistline changing and wonder why the body you’ve lived in for decades suddenly seems to have a mind of its own.
So what do you do?
- You look for the next thing to fix.
- Eat less.
- Move more.
- Cut the carbs.
- Try intermittent fasting.
- Buy another supplement.
- Follow another expert.
- Download another app.
Because surely, if you could just get everything right, your body would finally cooperate?
But what if your body isn’t refusing to cooperate? What if it’s responding exactly as a body would to the environment it’s experiencing?
Menopause doesn’t just change your periods. It can change how you experience food, sleep, stress and even the environment around you.
Your hormones are changing. Your muscle mass may be changing. Your insulin response can shift. And the demands of everyday life haven’t exactly disappeared just because you’ve reached midlife.
Yet somehow, we’re still expecting our bodies to respond to the same rules they did twenty years ago.
And when they don’t, we blame ourselves.
We’ve become so accustomed to judging our bodies through the lens of weight, food choices, discipline and willpower that we’ve almost forgotten they’re living, breathing, constantly adapting systems.
Not machines. Not projects to perfect. And certainly not a measure of our moral worth.
This week, as we move into the MIND part of our Libra journey, I want to explore something that goes a little deeper than menopause weight gain or metabolism.
I want to talk about the relationship you have with your body.
Because perhaps the biggest change we need to make during menopause isn’t our diet, our exercise routine or the number on the scales.
Perhaps it’s the way we’ve been taught to think about ourselves in the first place.
When Did Food Become a Measure of Our Goodness?
Think about the language we use around food.
- I’ve been good today.
- I was really naughty at the weekend.
- I’ve fallen off the wagon.
- I’ll start being good again on Monday.
We say these things so casually that we barely notice them. But isn’t it strange when you really think about it?
Since when did eating a piece of cake make you naughty? Or choosing a salad make you a better person?
Food has somehow become tangled up with our sense of worth. We don’t just judge what we’ve eaten; we judge ourselves for eating it.
And I wonder how many of us can remember a time when food was simply food.
A Sunday roast with the family. Birthday cake without a second thought. A warm slice of bread with proper butter. Eating because we were hungry, stopping because we were satisfied, and getting on with our lives.
Of course, I’m not suggesting nutrition doesn’t matter. You know how passionate I am about real food and giving our bodies the nourishment they need.
But there’s a world of difference between making food choices because they support your health and making them because you’re frightened of what might happen if you don’t.
We’ve Been Practising This for Decades
If you’re a woman in your forties, fifties or sixties, think about the messages you’ve grown up with.
The low-fat craze. Calorie counting. Slimming clubs. Meal replacement shakes. The cabbage soup diet. The idea that being hungry was something to celebrate because it meant your diet was working.
What was it that Kate Moss used to say? Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels!
We’ve watched foods go from healthy to unhealthy and back again. Eggs were bad, then good. Fat was the enemy, then carbohydrates took their turn. Butter was replaced with margarine, sugar with artificial sweeteners, and somewhere along the way we were encouraged to trust the numbers on a packet more than the food itself.
Don’t even get me started on the traffic light system.
And through it all, the underlying message remained remarkably consistent.
Your body is something you need to control.
Be smaller. Be firmer. Be younger. Take up less space.
Is it any wonder that by the time we reach menopause, so many of us have lost confidence in our ability to understand what our own bodies need?
We’ve spent years following instructions from the outside rather than paying attention to what’s happening on the inside.
And perhaps the saddest part is how normal it’s become to speak unkindly about ourselves.
We’d never dream of telling a friend she was a failure because she enjoyed pudding or hadn’t exercised for a few days.
Yet somehow, we think it’s perfectly acceptable to say those things to ourselves.
The Body You Thought Wasn’t Good Enough
Have you ever looked back at a photograph of yourself from ten or twenty years ago and thought, I wish I looked like that now?
I have.
And then I remember that at the time, I probably wasn’t particularly happy with how I looked either.
Perhaps I thought my tummy was too big, my legs weren’t quite right or I needed to lose a few pounds before I’d feel comfortable wearing something.
Looking back, I wonder how much time I wasted worrying about a body that was perfectly capable of carrying me through my life.
A body that was living, working, loving, laughing and doing all the things I now remember far more fondly than whatever number happened to be on the scales.
And that’s something I feel increasingly strongly about as I get older.
I have no intention of spending the second half of my life trying to recreate my first.
I don’t want to reach seventy, look back at photographs of myself at fifty and realise I spent another twenty years waiting to feel good enough.
Do you?
Because the reality is that our bodies will continue to change. That’s what living bodies do.
And while we can absolutely make choices that support our strength, energy, mobility and long-term health, we don’t have to spend the rest of our lives treating every physical change as evidence that we’ve failed.
Perhaps it’s time to stop asking whether we’ve been good or bad.
And start asking a much more useful question.
What does my body actually need from me now?
Your Body Has Changed. So Has the Environment It’s Responding To.
Here’s something we don’t talk about enough.
Your body at forty or fifty isn’t working under exactly the same conditions as it was at twenty or thirty. And why would it be?
You’ve lived another twenty years. Your hormones have changed, your lifestyle may be different, and your body has been adapting to everything life has thrown at it along the way.
Menopause is part of that picture, but it isn’t the whole story.
Your hormones: As estrogen and progesterone fluctuate during perimenopause, you may notice changes in sleep, mood, temperature regulation and where your body stores fat. After menopause, lower estrogen levels can contribute to increased abdominal fat, even without significant changes in overall weight.
Your insulin response: Ageing, changes in body composition, sleep and hormonal shifts can affect insulin sensitivity. This influences how efficiently your body manages blood glucose and uses energy.
Your muscles: We naturally tend to lose muscle as we age, particularly if we’re not doing anything to maintain it. Muscle supports strength, mobility and metabolic health, including glucose regulation.
Your nervous system: Years of juggling work, family, responsibilities and everyday pressures can take their toll. Chronic stress can affect sleep, appetite, digestion and how well you recover.
Your sleep: Hormonal fluctuations, night sweats and disrupted sleep can leave you exhausted. Poor sleep can also influence hunger signals, insulin sensitivity and your ability to manage stress.
Your digestion: Changes in hormones, food choices, activity, medication and stress can all influence digestion, sometimes contributing to bloating, constipation or changes in bowel habits.
And here’s where it gets interesting.
None of these systems works independently.
A poor night’s sleep can affect your appetite and blood sugar regulation. Stress can disrupt sleep and digestion. Losing muscle can influence how your body handles glucose.
One change can have a knock-on effect elsewhere.
This is why looking at one symptom in isolation, or assuming every change is simply down to menopause, doesn’t always give us the full picture.
And it’s why I believe understanding your body is so much more valuable than following another set of rules.
Your body isn’t broken. It’s adapting to a different stage of life, and sometimes it needs a different kind of support.
The question isn’t how do I force my body to behave as it used to? It’s how do I nourish and support the body I have today?
Why Eating Less Isn’t Always the Answer
When our bodies start changing, particularly around the waistline, what’s often the first thing we’re told to do?
Eat less. Move more.
It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?
But perhaps we should be asking a different question.
How did we get to a point where we have more nutritional information at our fingertips than any generation before us, yet so many of us feel less confident about what to eat?
Over the past few decades, our food environment has changed enormously.
Food manufacturers have found ways to make products cheaper to produce, more convenient, longer-lasting and more appealing. Meanwhile, public health campaigns have encouraged us to reduce certain nutrients, particularly fat, often with the intention of improving our health.
Remember the low-fat craze?
We were encouraged to swap butter for low-fat spreads, full-fat yoghurt for fat-free versions and traditional foods for products marketed as healthier alternatives.
But removing fat often meant manufacturers had to replace its flavour and texture with something else. In some products, that meant added sugars, refined starches, flavourings, thickeners and emulsifiers.
Not every low-fat food is ultra-processed, and not every additive is harmful. But the result was a growing market for products that looked healthy on the packaging while becoming increasingly removed from the simple foods they were supposed to replace.
And somewhere along the way, we started paying more attention to calories, percentages and nutritional claims than to the actual ingredients in our food.
Your Body Needs Nourishment, Not Another Diet
We’ve been encouraged to focus on what to remove from our diets rather than what our bodies need us to include.
Less fat. Less sugar. Fewer calories. Smaller portions.
But eating less doesn’t automatically mean eating better.
Restricting food too much can make it harder to get the protein, fats, fibre, vitamins and minerals your body needs to maintain muscle, support your nervous system and keep everything functioning well.
And as we move through menopause, those nutritional foundations become particularly important.
This isn’t about blaming one ingredient for every modern health problem or suggesting we need to fear everything on a supermarket shelf.
It’s about recognising that a food being marketed as healthy doesn’t necessarily mean it’s nourishing, and a food containing fat doesn’t automatically make it unhealthy.
Perhaps instead of asking how we can eat less, we could start asking how we can nourish ourselves better.
What Are You Actually Trying to Achieve?
Are you trying to feel stronger? Have more energy? Sleep better? Support your metabolic health? Feel comfortable and confident in your body?
Or have you become so focused on making your body smaller that you’ve forgotten what you actually want your health to allow you to do?
Because those are two very different starting points.
I believe we can support our health through ordinary, nourishing food without turning every meal into a mathematical equation.
A proper breakfast. A home-cooked dinner. Protein, fats, carbohydrates and vegetables. Food that satisfies us, tastes delicious and gives our bodies what they need.
And yes, room for homemade cake, unprocessed bread with butter and the pleasure of eating simply because something tastes wonderful.
Nourish, don’t punish.
Because looking after your health shouldn’t mean spending the rest of your life frightened of food.
Your Body Isn’t Keeping Score. It’s Communicating.
What if we stopped treating every change in our bodies as something we’ve done wrong and started getting curious instead?
Think about it.
Craving something sweet every afternoon? Perhaps you haven’t eaten enough, your blood sugar is fluctuating, or you’re simply exhausted.
Waking up at 3 am? Hormonal changes, stress, alcohol or your sleep environment could all be playing a part.
Feeling bloated after meals? Rather than immediately cutting out another food group, consider your gut flora, stress levels and eating patterns.
Noticing changes around your waistline? Before blaming yourself, remember that hormones, muscle mass, ageing and lifestyle all influence body composition.
None of these signals tells us the whole story on its own. But they give us somewhere to start.
This is what I mean by Signal → System → Support.
Notice what’s happening. Explore what might be contributing. Then consider what support your body actually needs.
Not another list of things you’re doing wrong.
Not another set of rules to follow.
Just a little more curiosity and a lot less judgement.
Because you can’t build a trusting relationship with a body you’re constantly fighting.
What Does Doing Everything Right Actually Mean?
We’ve spent so much of our lives being told what a healthy body should look like.
Slim. Toned. Youthful. Preferably without a wrinkle, a wobble or a grey hair in sight.
But who decided that was the definition of health?
And more importantly, who decided we had to spend the second half of our lives chasing it?
What if being healthy in menopause wasn’t about fitting into the jeans you wore twenty years ago?
What if it meant having the strength to carry your shopping, the energy to enjoy your grandchildren, the freedom to travel, dance, garden, walk for miles or simply get up in the morning feeling ready for the day?
What if it meant enjoying a meal with friends without mentally calculating how many calories you’ve eaten or how you’ll feel tomorrow if you have that glass of wine?
What if health was something that helped you enjoy your life, rather than something that took over your life?
Because that’s the distinction I think we’ve lost.
Of course, I want to look after my body. I want strong muscles, healthy bones, good metabolic health and the energy to keep doing the things I love for as long as possible.
But I don’t want to spend the years I have left obsessing over every mouthful, chasing a younger version of myself or postponing happiness until I’ve reached some imaginary goal.
I want to enjoy my life now.
And I want that for you, too.
A healthy menopause isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about understanding what matters, making choices that support you and leaving plenty of room for actually living.
A Different Conversation With Your Body
As we move towards the waning of our Libra journey, I’d love you to think about the relationship you have with your body.
Not what it weighs. Not what size clothes you wear. Not how closely you’ve followed the latest health advice.
But how you actually speak to yourself.
The next time you catch yourself thinking I’ve been bad, I need more willpower or I really should be doing more, stop for a moment.
Ask yourself:
Would I speak to someone I love this way?
And perhaps, instead of asking what you need to change about your body, ask what you could do to support it.
Maybe that’s a nourishing meal, a good night’s sleep, some movement you enjoy, or simply giving yourself permission to rest.
It doesn’t have to be complicated.
Your body has carried you through every chapter of your life so far. It’s changing, and it will continue to change.
But that doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
You cannot build a healthy relationship with a body you’re constantly trying to punish into submission.
Perhaps this next chapter isn’t about becoming the woman you used to be.
Perhaps it’s about finally learning to appreciate the woman you are today.
And that feels like a much better place to begin.
Ready to Understand Your Changing Body?
If you’re tired of conflicting menopause advice, endless food rules and wondering why your body seems to be changing despite your best efforts, I’d love you to join me for my FREE Healthy Menopause Workshop.
We’ll explore how hormonal changes affect the interconnected systems in your body, why symptoms aren’t always separate problems to fix, and how real food and simple lifestyle choices can help you feel more confident about supporting your health.
No diets. No quick fixes. No one-size-fits-all menopause plan.
Just a different way to understand your body and what it needs during this transition.
🌙 This Week’s Moon Kitchen Recipe
Moon Phase: 🌕 Full Moon | Detox
Moon Kitchen Focus: Support natural hormone metabolism through the liver and gut with cruciferous vegetables, fibre, selenium and antioxidants.
This Week’s Recipe: Spicy Sweet Potato, Turkey & Kale Bowl
As we reach the Full Moon, our focus turns to Detox, not restrictive cleanses, but nourishing the systems your body already uses every day to process and eliminate hormones and waste.
This warming Spicy Sweet Potato, Turkey & Kale Bowl is packed with ingredients to support that work. Kale is a cruciferous vegetable, providing fibre and plant compounds that support the liver’s natural detoxification enzymes, while sweet potato and kale bring colourful antioxidants including vitamins A and C.
Turkey provides plenty of protein and contributes selenium, an important mineral used by the body’s antioxidant defence systems. And fibre from the vegetables helps support the gut and regular elimination—the other half of the hormone-clearance story.
Detox isn’t about deprivation. It’s about giving your body what it needs to do its job.
